Friday, April 24, 2009


I was going to blog about the difference between inductive and deductive reasoning, the apparent preference for these operating models on each side of the political spectrum and the ramifications of these tendencies on cultural norms and social institutions, but I have decided to write a sonnet dedicated to my wife's mucus:

Minion, behold the nadir of the lyric:

Dreams and pathways I have known
The times of man eons peak and eras trough
Cacophonous yalp as virally sewn
Still lyrical I hear my dear love's cough

Harmonious day flees panoptical night
And a green phlegm rubicon traverse
Viscus, cascading snot affright
Fly, silent fever embrace the inevitable adverse

Forgotten roads through rooky woods meander
Cursed cough, thy name is emerald molasses
Among fallen timbers and brush forever wander
Pray, find your place amid begotten corpses

And time, immortal guardian of aged, ailing genus locus
A dimming light, we say goodnight to all my Love's disgusting mucus

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Note to Shark, re: Jumping

Oh, dear sweet baby jebus. Morning Joe has done it. That's it. They've laid out in very clear terms the structural diagram, or playbook if you will, for the architecture of douschbaggery.

1) Apparently we were one country on September 11 and a different country on September 12.
2) Apparently we all gave up our entire philosophy of governance on September 12 in order to shift our allegiance to the federal government. This includes "libertarians" and "small government conservatives" like Joe.
3) Apparently anyone who thinks we should prosecute our "leaders" for past acts of "laywers for issuing legal opinions" is a pure ideologue.
4) Apparently the fact that SERE school exists is proof that there is a precedent for "enhanced interigation techniques" in the world and therefore there must be a "gray area" concerning the legality of the acts.

Did I say douschbaggery? What I meant was cowardice. The limbic brain manifest. American exceptionalism writ large, amoral familialism just came into the MSNBC studio at Rockafeller plaza looked straight into the camera and took a dump in Mika Brzynski's shoe, the allegator Bruno Magli's with extra high heel.

MSNBC, what the hell are you doing with these idiots?

Monday, April 13, 2009

I've just learned....

... a new word: Atavistic. It has reminded me that I had proposed a muse-fest on the distinction between arcadian and utopian. The report concerning compensation in the executive class last year might be an adequate vehicle with which to drop some knowledge.

Minion, remind me to get back to that later.

Thursday, April 9, 2009

I tend to eschew...

...polling data for a couple reasons. First, one can never underestimate the deep and profound ignorance of the American people. As a collective they can, therefore, not be relied upon to understand the complex nature of their surroundings, the human condition or the process where by sliced bread is place in proximity to a radient heat source and becomes toast. Second, polls are not just a reflection of our collective ignorance they judge only the relationship of our collective ignorance to historical events and constructs and not the relationship of the events to the constructs. In other words, polls tend to record our ignorance of our surroundings more than the nature of our surroundings, but as this flaw in polls exists within the surroundings we collectively cannot comprehend, in some ways we change the outcome by measuring it.

None the less, this poll is interesting, precisely becuase the trajectory on which American ignorance can be judged would suggest a different output. Apparently only 53% of Americans believe capitalism is better than socialism. That's suprising, nes cafe?

Friday, April 3, 2009

Dear Ms. Noonan



Thoughtful People of the World


What is the point of Morning Joe? I'm struck now with the realization, finally, that it's not that they're bad at what they're supposed to doing, its that they're really good and doing something bad. For fifteen minutes now they've been talking about how Obama did in the G-20 in terms of style... Style. Did he look presidential, seems to be the main point of discussion. Branding 101, truly, but idocy in the extreme for political discourse. And of course Joe has to slip in the occassional negative remark regarding France.

I don't even know why Republicans don't like France, I quite literally do not remember what the problem is. I thought it was that they didn't think we should invade Iraq, but that can't possibly be it, because surely they'd be vindicated for that view. It's hard to say now.